THE FOLLOWING IS THE TEXT OF AN INTERNET CHAT WITH AN ACTUAL ORTHODOX RABBI:
Rabbi Shlomo: Welcome. I'll be with you in a moment...what's on your mind?
jon: Is modeh ani halacha or just a minhag?
Rabbi Shlomo: it is in most siddur
jon: because sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I'm not very happy. Do I still have to say it then?
Rabbi Shlomo: of course!
Rabbi Shlomo: here are two (or many) reasons why:
Rabbi Shlomo: 1) We don't just say it for ourselves. We say it for Hashem.
Rabbi Shlomo: For example, if I did you a favor but you were in a bad mood - would you not say thank you to ME just because YOU are in a bad mood?
Rabbi Shlomo: Similarly, just because we are not happy, that doesn't mean we shouldn't thank G-d for what He does
jon: depends how bad a mood it was
Rabbi Shlomo: 2) Saying Modeh ani (with the proper understanding) can help MAKE US Happy!
jon: But another problem is that usually when I wake up I have morning wood (an erection). Should I say modeh ani right away or do I have to wait for things to settle down?
Rabbi Shlomo: you can say right away
jon: but won't he notice?
Rabbi Shlomo: it is irrelevant
jon: i wear pajama bottoms. It's not like I sleep in the nude or anything. But he'll still know.
Rabbi Shlomo: again, it is irrelevant
jon: What about if I roll over in my sleep and lay on my arm so that my arm falls asleep. If it's all numb and then hurts while the blood flows back in, what should I do then?
Rabbi Shlomo: what about it?
jon: Should I still say modeh ani?
Rabbi Shlomo: yes
jon: I always think the feeling in my arm will never come back and that it will have to be amputated.
Rabbi Shlomo: ok
jon: So how can I say modeh ani when I need to get my arm amputated?
Rabbi Shlomo: 1) You don't need to get your arm amputated
Rabbi Shlomo: 2) Read above what i wrote about saying Modeh Ani even if you re not in the mood
jon: So if I understand correctly, I should pretty much always say modeh ani.
jon: But what if I have a wet dream, a nocturnal emission of semen?
jon: If someone said thank you to me and he was covered in semen, I wouldn't think he was very polite.
jon: I'd probably call the cops.
Rabbi Shlomo: would you like to ask anything else aside from Mode Ani questions?
jon: I want to make sure I have a solid foundation.
jon: If I mess up modeh ani, my whole day is off on the wrong foot.
Rabbi Shlomo: Welcome. I'll be with you in a moment...what's on your mind?
jon: Is modeh ani halacha or just a minhag?
Rabbi Shlomo: it is in most siddur
jon: because sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I'm not very happy. Do I still have to say it then?
Rabbi Shlomo: of course!
Rabbi Shlomo: here are two (or many) reasons why:
Rabbi Shlomo: 1) We don't just say it for ourselves. We say it for Hashem.
Rabbi Shlomo: For example, if I did you a favor but you were in a bad mood - would you not say thank you to ME just because YOU are in a bad mood?
Rabbi Shlomo: Similarly, just because we are not happy, that doesn't mean we shouldn't thank G-d for what He does
jon: depends how bad a mood it was
Rabbi Shlomo: 2) Saying Modeh ani (with the proper understanding) can help MAKE US Happy!
jon: But another problem is that usually when I wake up I have morning wood (an erection). Should I say modeh ani right away or do I have to wait for things to settle down?
Rabbi Shlomo: you can say right away
jon: but won't he notice?
Rabbi Shlomo: it is irrelevant
jon: i wear pajama bottoms. It's not like I sleep in the nude or anything. But he'll still know.
Rabbi Shlomo: again, it is irrelevant
jon: What about if I roll over in my sleep and lay on my arm so that my arm falls asleep. If it's all numb and then hurts while the blood flows back in, what should I do then?
Rabbi Shlomo: what about it?
jon: Should I still say modeh ani?
Rabbi Shlomo: yes
jon: I always think the feeling in my arm will never come back and that it will have to be amputated.
Rabbi Shlomo: ok
jon: So how can I say modeh ani when I need to get my arm amputated?
Rabbi Shlomo: 1) You don't need to get your arm amputated
Rabbi Shlomo: 2) Read above what i wrote about saying Modeh Ani even if you re not in the mood
jon: So if I understand correctly, I should pretty much always say modeh ani.
jon: But what if I have a wet dream, a nocturnal emission of semen?
jon: If someone said thank you to me and he was covered in semen, I wouldn't think he was very polite.
jon: I'd probably call the cops.
Rabbi Shlomo: would you like to ask anything else aside from Mode Ani questions?
jon: I want to make sure I have a solid foundation.
jon: If I mess up modeh ani, my whole day is off on the wrong foot.
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